The Glistening Tortoise
est 2023

Podcast Host Simon Pail introduces..Podcast Host Simon Pail. "..A very special edition of the podcast today. The podcast I created and...

INTERVIEW - 'Four Hours With Charl Coconut I'll Never Get Back' "GOD! GOD! GOD!" parrots reformed man of violence Charl Coconut as he...

One man social study Tony Crease really got going this week when he tested negative for mental health. Crease based his latest study on...

A Prepared Statement "This is an important day for our country. I feel in my heart its importance, this is a day which is not and should...

BOOK EXTRACT: ‘LISTLESS’ by Neal Darken Trellis And as they inject drugs into the balls of my insipid protagonist and the first block of...

BOOKS OF THE MONTH.. 'EASY' by Pusilanimity Crease It was meant to be an easy job. All gangster Derek Unpleasant had to do was drive to a...

LISTEN to or READ an Extract from Bestselling Novel 'LISTLESS' 'LISTLESS' by NEAL DARKEN TRELLIS BOOK EXTRACT: ‘LISTLESS’ by Neal Darken...

BOOK EXTRACT ‘LISTLESS’ by Neal Darken Trellis And it’s a story you might find tedious because God knows it’s tedious to me, but maybe a...

R’ Na Na GOOSE, Head of Sleuth, the world’s foremost recruitment agency for twats resigned today in a cloud of condensed piss which...

MEMORIES OF SCHOOL After famous person Faye Famous’ tearful reminiscence of a former teacher, readers recall their own memories of...

Monday The Something of Something

The Poobag Blues 'Come lets sing The Poobag Blues We poo in bags in response to news The twats have assailed us far too long They...

Local DJ Dave ‘Tunes’ Tune called himself up on his own radio show yesterday morning to say if he was forced to continue hearing Elton...

LIVE NEWS Two morons in the Gym Café, who began their loud conversation 31 minutes ago have decided a 32nd minute would be a great idea....

Ava Avarice, star of ‘Actual Women In A Gated Community’ also stars in this tedious puff piece to promote the new season launch tonight....

BOOK REVIEW: 'SPACE BANG' by Daniel L'Orange. A man farts into a pint glass and the ramifications are huge in this mind-bending, at times...

A man who works at Passport Control at an airport has saved the world [again.] Mike Stern, who practises his stare in the mirror,...

Art#2 "Ich habe ein Gemalde gemalt." "YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AND YOU WERE SHIT..DO US ALL A FAVOUR AND ACCEPT YOUR MEDIOCRITY.." © 2023...

Art #1 Ich habe ein Gemalde gemalt. © 2023 theglisteningtortoise.com