'ADVENTURES IN SELF-ESTEEM'

SIR MOLE CLEETHORPES IN CONVERSATION

"Sir Mole Cleethorpes, you own emotional dustbins.."

"Tanks of emotion, yes."

"Are these of a large size, Sir Mole?"

"Yes – think great big tanks bubbling away in my garage."

"A reservoir."

"No – a reservoir would imply a huge expanse of water. Do you think I have room in my garage for a huge expanse of water?"

"I don’t know how big your garage is Sir Mole.."

"There’s enough room for my tanks and a large sofa, upon which I sit to read my poetry.."

"You must write a great deal of poetry.."

"With great big tanks like these? Well – one must release one’s emotions. Some people start wars or misbehave in restaurants. I express in verse. It doesn’t reduce the volume of my tanks but it does keep them to a manageable level. I want to CREATE and I want to LIVE. I have lived and I am living – I fully accept I may never stir the populace in the way MARC ANTONY appears to have done in JULIUS CAESAR but who knows if he really did or not? SHAKESPEARE got it off PLUTARCH and PLUTARCH was writing a century after CAESAR – and if they were both here now I’d ask them “Listen cunty, to what extent have you jazzed it all up?”

"You wish you could converse in person with Plutarch and with Shakespeare, Sir Mole?"

"Well it’d more interesting than talking to you."

"Sir Mole Cleethorpes, thanks ever so."

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