‘Adventures In Self-Esteem’

An Interview with Sir Mole Cleethorpes

"Sir Mole Cleethorpes, you have never visited Winchester and been inside its lovely Cathedral have you?"

"No. But I have been inside a great many sexual partners. That in my view makes up for any faux pas I’ve committed in not visiting Winchester. And I must say, I’ve never worked in Hollywood, I’ve never sought employment as a Disc Jockey – ALL of the intercourse I have enjoyed has been if not always mutually enjoyable at least consensual."

"How did those who agreed to have intercourse with you display their consent?"

"Well mainly by them at no point screaming NO! GET OFF ME! - unless it was the one or two occasions I participated in roleplay and let me tell you every single word and action was agreed and scripted beforehand with the thoroughness of a pro wrestling bout.."

"And by the time you were in the times you were in, I wondered whether the ladies you were hoping to engage in intercourse with gave you any pre-signals of consent?"

"A look across a crowded bar? A cackling laugh as I whipped out my cock?"

"I would presume some intermediate stage between the two.."

"Well generally speaking there was alcohol involved."

"You mean the women were drunk?"

"Not always. But I was. Alcohol is a huge part of my life. As is wanking my cock."

"One thing I’ve always wanted to know, Sir Mole.."

"Yes?"

"During intercourse with the numerous women you are on the public record as having ‘met,’ would you have to put it crudely, ‘wanked your cock’ in front of any of these women?"

"I think you’ll be hard pressed to find any of these women that I haven’t wanked my cock in front of. It is after all, a performance. I tried entertaining my partners with a smorgasboard of facial expressions but I can’t really do impressions.."

"Apart from an impression of yourself wanking your cock?"

"Yes I do an award winning impression of that – although I’ve never won an award. Is there an award? Probably a difficult one to judge unless competitors send in video footage and I’m no good with technology."

"Sir Mole Cleethorpes, thanks ever so."