CULTURE REVIEW - AUDIO DRAMA OF THE MONTH
Charl Coconut is a bald loony who were massively into violence because he couldn’t get Channel 4 in his house when he were growing up, mate.
In a consequential world, the consequences of which we'll get to, Coconut cornered the market for being professionally violent when he asked for a job as a bouncer in a nightclub and got it.
Having exceeded the legal interpretation of ‘self-defence’ on thousands of occasions, Coconut found himself mired in serious karmic debt. Initially attempting to pay this off by writtin an autiobiography saying he'd definitely done but changed all the names and that, he crossed his legs one day, closed his eyes and began a conversation with ‘a higher power’ he's at pains to make clear is not intended to be God.
The resulting 150,000 word exchange CONVERSATIONS IN ME BONCE WIV A BLOKE WOT NEVER SAID MUCH is to be released as an audio drama in six minutes time.
Here's a little taste if you're of that persuasion.
CHARL COCONUT Hello?
Silence
CHARL COCONUT I don’t feel good.
BLOKE That’s violence for you.
CHARL COCONUT I were involved in thousand of violent confrontations. I’ve damaged people..
BLOKE I know. I saw it.
CHARL COCONUT Did I look sexy doing it?
Silence
CHARL COCONUT I DUN WOT I ‘AD TO DO. IT WERE ME OR THEM! I’M ARD! I’M ARD! I’M ARD! NO ONE MESSES WIV ME!
BLOKE emits a long sigh.
CHARL COCONUT Sorry! Look – ‘ow do I pay off me debt? Should I memorise a Bible? Yea. Yea. Then I could go round parroting it!
CHARL heads down the shops to buy one.
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