COUNCILLOR QUITS AS POWDER KEG OF INTERNICENE BULLSHIT ERUPTS

A Town Councillor has resigned following a dramatic meeting of The Town Council last night. The incident, which occurred during a debate over whether they should be served curry or fish for dinner began when Councillor Bernard Sanction muttered something ‘unhelpful and unpleasant’ because that’s who he is and that’s what he does.

Councillor Lolly Pop immediately appealed to The Mayor, who hadn’t turned up, before Councillor Sanction followed a vigorous defence of his actions in the 1970's 'when there weren't cameras everwhere' by complaining that his reserved parking space outside the Town Hall wasn’t wide enough and that he fully intended to play golf until the matter was resolved to his satisfaction.

When Councillor Pop asked how this could best be achieved, Sanction, by now stripped to the waist and pulling on a golf glove, demanded the lines of his parking space be ‘re-drawn and re-painted’ to be four times the width of anyone else’s – a demand that prompted Councillor Pop to lie prone on the Council Chamber catapult, strap on a helmet and order that she be fired straight at Sanction like they were all “literally in a Bond film or something.”

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