HISTORICAL COTTAGING

TV/CULTURE/CHURCHILL CLUB

Horatio Portland the historian on first name terms with every single arsehole in the Westminster bubble, launches his new programme tonight – HISTORY COTTAGE and I was kindly given an advance copy. An altogether disturbing experience where Portland entered a series of toilet cubicles, debating a historical figure in each for the chance to win a fantasy boozy lunch with a Churchill lookalike and ended with the award winning historian tugging himself off to a Churchilll speech whilst shouting "what about the Dardenelles?" After cleaning up Portland was challenged on his alleged friendships with a lot of philandering dickheads that have trashed the country. "None of them have ever philandered in front of me so I feel no problem with being on first name terms with arseholes. The patronage of people you wouldn’t let near your own wife, children or friends is important and I intend to keep pretending I like them for as long as it takes" Portland said.

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