'LISTLESS' by Neal Darken Trellis..

BOOK EXTRACT:

‘LISTLESS’ by Neal Darken Trellis

And as they inject drugs into the balls of my insipid protagonist and the first block of concrete is dropped on his head I get excited because I never fit in. I had the right hair and all the right clothes and I went to parties and I wrote endlessly about serial killers and drugs but I never wanted to do any of it and I could never figure out how not to because I’ve always been fascinated by myself but forever at a distance – I wipe the cum off my desk and picture myself at my funeral – my casket lowered into a vault beneath the floor of a top ten all time bookstore and a man who always hated himself hides behind aviator shades and tries to push everything he’s ever felt right down into his anus as a young actress cries – an attempt to imbue the event with an emotion it is more memorable without and for years afterwards the words I faithfully wrote are read or spoken in bars or restaurants and in dinner party conversation and all of those to whom these words mean something, buy tickets daily to descend those stairs at the bookstore to snort coke and fuck each other to the point the marble surface of my tomb has to sanitised hourly. It’s not enough but then maybe it is, I’m mysterious, I’m a writer. I write.

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