MAN IN FLAT CAP INTERVIEWS SPIRITUAL THUG

CULTURE/PODCASTS

A man wearing a flat cap despite still being in his thirties has interviewed an ex-violent thug about ‘spirituality’ and posted it online. Chris Bloke, who identifies as your favourite childhood Christmas memory, conducted the two hour gabfest with ex-criminal ‘Charl Coconut’ from a small room in his house, full of copies of the ex-criminal’s ‘gripping’ autobiography which details exactly how tedious, abusive and futile a life of crime will always be. “I was enticed by Coconut’s delicious polarity” Bloke actually said. “The man’s a legend – parlays with gangsters, bank jobs, drugs, hundreds of street-fights. He’s done everything except education and now he’s made the utterly cliched transition into ‘God-botherer-extraordinaire.’ Bloke, [who despite his small beard and glasses, has tattooed knuckles for some reason] claims to have his own ‘dark past’ and that he is ‘no angel.’

“I think its important men speak about their vulnerability, provided they have a solid background in violence first and no one demonstrates it better than Charl. That’s what being a man is. It’s about going down the boozer, hitting someone, then crying. Charl’s learned something most people learn by the time they leave Primary School, which is why we’re all reading his book in the study group I’ve set up locally for pricks like me. Charl’s amazing. I’ve joined his Online Mentoring Programme to learn how not to be like him. You can’t put a price on that kind of knowledge which is why I paid him the four grand upfront straightaway.”

Leader for the Opposition and podcast listener Devereaux Verbose said "How dare Charl Coconut change. How dare anyone!!"

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