PAINTDRY FOR PM

POLITICS

Local councillor Derek Paintdry launches his campaign to become Prime Minister today with a three hour country walk and pub lunch by the river. Paintdry who was last seen shouting AAAAAARRRGGHHH! as he read our newspaper expose of Government corruption on a bench in the market place on Friday, has decided to put his money actually in his mouth and tear down everything and start again. “Ex Prime Minister’s have been mocked in the past for being boring. I remember reading that Neville Chamberlain was laughed at in 1938 for liking birdwatching and fishing. Yes admittedly he prorogued parliament for two months in the middle of a world war but look at the individuals in power at the moment. We need someone as boring as possible as Prime Minister and my wife, my children, my friends and everyone down the Bowling Club tell me I am that man. I’m so boring I regularly check my Linkedin profile. There. I’ve said it. Vote for me."

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