'PASSPORT CONTROL GUY SAVES WORLD [AGAIN!]'

A man who works at Passport Control at an airport has saved the world [again.]

Mike Stern, who practises his stare in the mirror, regularly saves the world by preventing criminals from gaining entry to the country and going about their lives of crime.

“I radiate hostility" says Stern "I’m rude and an unwelcoming presence and it works. Take the guy I dealt with today. He approached and handed me his passport. I stared at him with such an unwavering intensity he couldn't meet my eyes. His documents were in order so I let him past but let me tell you, even if he was a criminal he won't be heading into the city to organise any big drug deals. I guarantee you he'll be straight on the phone to his contact to say the deal’s off. After the look l gave him, I bet he went straight to departures and booked a return flight. Wait till I tell Mrs Stern when I get home. It'll my turn in the bin bag tonight!"

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