'PRICK TELLS PM HE GOT TEXT FROM POWERFUL CELEBRITY..'

PEREGRINE PRICK INTERVIEWS THE PRIME MINISTER..

As It Happened...

2ds ago

PM starts to tell Peregrine Prick what it's like being Prime Minister..

When asked to assess his first 100 days in office, The PM said it was 'a tough gig' and despite having nothing to be particularly proud of he affirmed he was 'proud of what he'd delivered' which was, in all honesty, fuck all.

On a Question addressing what he'd do about the NHS, the PM veers off on a tangent about how grateful he is to The Party, who had shown such confidence in his insincerity and inexperience despite having fuck all alternative after the previous incumbent proved themselves a 'catastrophic fuck up.'

PM adds that 'very soon' everything will be better - everyone will be unexplainedly richer and happier and for the rest of his life people will cross the street to rap on the bulletproof glass of his limousine as it passes them at speed, for what he has done.

On his contentious appointments of Cabinet Ministers with zero ethics, compassion or cognitive ability, the PM said the country could judge him on how badly he had handled the situations and ignore his pathetic excuse that having worked closely with these people for years, he had no idea all of them were 'corrupt' and/or 'shit.'

The PM makes an attempt to link himself to a football team conveniently close to the area in which he went to School but which he has clearly only just heard of.

Peregrine Prick gives the PM the football shirt of a powerful celebrity footballer then shows him a text message he's received from him. The PM quips "Just the one message?"

Peregrine Prick shoves his phone in the PM's slippery face, replying "NO - it's an exchange. We've exchanged messages. I know him. He's got my number!"

Interview ends.

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