WANKER WARS

POLITICS

Gurn Bojangles was in the wars again this week at a tedious launch/lunch [where everyone's lunch was launched] hosted by The Wanker Magazine. Gurn, who used to briefly edit The Wanker, before being sacked for printing a 'statesmanlike' portrait of himself fucking a quiche on the front cover, has long since taken to going up to young people at wanky events and burbling “You really must come and write for me at The Wanker” – the magazine of which, Bojangles, notorious for his inability to accept the reality of his failure, still believes himself to be editor of – spending 1 till 3pm every Friday furiously emailing and phoning anyone unfortunate enough to have been unable to remove themselves from his contacts list. Hiding by some plant-pots he attempted to corrupt numerous impressionable young professionals into scoring him drugs or giving him technology lessons. “Can you make my penis into a website?” he brazenly asked.

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