'WORLD PEACE NIXES FILM PROJECT.'
- Editor
- Mar 18, 2024
- 1 min read
Updated: Jan 14
FILM NEWS
Super fans of ex-violent loony CHARL COCONUT reacted philosophically last night after world peace manifested in every mind and home.
BANGED OUT – the planned feature film of Coconut’s life, was to show through moving pictures and largely four letter words his journey from bullied youth to super Ard nightclub bouncer who ‘weren’t frit of no one mate’ until he nearly killed some bloke and thought ‘I wish I hadn’t done that.’
“It’s kinda disappointing” super fan MINT BLANGWEED piped up from his tedious man-cave. “I’d invested £10,000 in the Kickstarter campaign in return for a signed baseball bat and a personal 121 bar crawl with Charl Coconut once filming had ended. But I now feel so peaceful I don’t want to put my insides through two hours of bog standard violent gangster geezer porn to be told something I knew by the time I left Primary School.”
BANGED OUT was to have featured the legendary RAY PLIMSOLL - the UK’s most famous ‘hard man’ actor but even he now expressed relief. “In a 35 year career I’ve employed every swear word and weapon known to man, doing things like slamming some bloke into a wall and screaming ‘I’M A MAN! I LOVE HER!’ Often in a series of bad wigs. The moment I felt the peace manifest, I just thought I don’t want this no more."
“I want to apologise to my wife” BLANGWEED concluded. “Because I had every intention of taking her to the ‘West End Red Carpet Premiere’ to sit through a whole evening of this."
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